Into the Arms of Angels - Part I
“Your father is dying.” The room spins. I am momentarily at a loss for words. It’s like being punched in the gut. A few moments pass. “How long do you think he has?” The kind doctor pauses, before answering. “Not long. A few days at most”. In my head, I remember that It’s Tuesday afternoon.
“Will he make it to the weekend?” “I don’t think that’s likely.” He is sombre but kind. Above me, there is a skylight and through it I hear a screeching sound.
“It’s the seagulls. They’ve built a nest on our roof.” I think to myself that my father would like that.
"Death, so called, is a thing that makes men weep" - Lord Byron
After I’ve left the hospital, I feel mentally drained. My mind is cast back to the book I first read in 2018, when my beloved grandmother was dying. Atul Gwande, who is the most extraordinary writer, penned a book entitled ‘Being Mortal - Medicine, Illness and What Really Matters in the End,” It had a profound impact on me back then and his words return to me now…
Caught off Guard - My Father Falls Ill
I am caught off guard when I see him. He looks terrible. I do my best to hide my shock, pulling up a chair, forcing a smile and taking his hand. My father recognises me immediately and seems astonished that I’m standing next to him. He can’t speak properly - he’s slurring his words - nor can he sit up. He is utterly helpless and fights to get his words out…
“Dad, I came to see you.” I squeeze his hand tightly and he responds in kind. Then he whispers, almost inaudibly, “Get me out of here…”