It’s a pretty empty airport from which I depart Tel Aviv - many airlines still aren’t flying to Israel and many of my friends here aren’t in the right frame of mind to take a holiday. My flight with Emirates from Tel Aviv to Bangkok is - by any standards - good - the cabin staff are professional, the legroom is decent, there’s no end of entertainment and they even serve me coffee with chocolate and popcorn before we make our final descent.
Even more bizarrely, as I’m sitting around listening to Cindi Lauper belt out ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ over the tannoy, there’s an interruption. It’s the Call to Prayer (which is made five times daily) which echoes strangely round the enormous building.
I stare across at a store which is has an electronic advertising board - Gucci, Prada, Piaget, Calvin Klein…next to it there’s a childlike depiction of an Islamic holiday. Disneyfied Islam.
If only I hadn’t had to stop in Dubai - it’s never been on my bucket list and from my five hour stopover at the airport I can say with certainty that it really was vile.
The uber modern airport has no functioning wifi. There’s an army of Indian migrants walking around sadly, sweeping up non-existent dust from marble floors.
The Duty Free is heaving with chocolates and sweets - enough to make any dentist weep.
And there’s almost no vegetarian food on sale in the cafes!
I make a mental note to myself that the next time I fly Emirates, I should make sure my stopover is as brief as possible.
We land in Bangkok at 7.30 am. I’m tired and out of sorts, having not slept on the plane (I don’t have that talent). The airport might tout itself as modern but the immigration lines are long and the signs are nebulous. They’ve hired some staff to just point people in the correct directions - I shuffle along, wait 30 minutes, then receive a Thai entry permit, the woman not even to query why I don’t have an onward ticket.
My bag is soon on the revolving counter - I grab it, heave it onto shoulders and head for the exit. I’ve decided to do this trip as a “Backpacker with a Flexible Budget’ - I don’t have to count baht every day but I want to see how far my dime will stretch. A taxi into town is 1000 baht says the guy outside. The public bus is 60! It’s a no-brainer.
It takes exactly the same route as the cab and - according to Moovit Thailand - will drop me 3 minutes walk from the guesthouse I’ve booked into.
I don’t have any Baht and rather than stand and queue to make an exchange, I try my luck with the conductor. I offer her two dollar bills (which is more than 60 baht) and she gladly accepts and tucks them into her little purse. The bus fills up and off we go.
Almost one hour and 45 minutes later (the traffic is horrendous, not just because it’s Bangkok but also because it’s the morning rush hour) I’m deposited - as Moovit says - right where I should be.
It’s hot and sticky and I’m exhausted.
But the good news is that (unlike the old days, where you just rocked up and enquired after a room) I’ve booked in advance for a night.
In I walk and within ten minutes, the little old lady has checked me into my very basic but quite functional room.
I’m too tired even to shower. I switch on the fan, strip down to my underwear and lay down on the bed. Within moments I’m out like a light.
Exploration can wait - I have all the time in the world and right now I’m succumbing to jet lag.